WEBVTT 00:00:06.640 --> 00:00:17.875 It is with great pride and joy that we present the 2024 distinguished alumni award to doctor James Hernandez, class of 2016. 00:00:18.895 --> 00:00:25.315 Monsignor Shea, I I share your terror, but it's it's not because I lost my voice. 00:00:25.375 --> 00:00:31.830 It's because I have to follow doctor Scruffani and you, and I'm at the end of this ceremony. 00:00:32.050 --> 00:00:37.830 And I know that everybody's ready to go, so I'll try to be brief. 00:00:38.610 --> 00:00:47.185 My main talk is or my main points are about following the lord's will and trusting him and my experiences of that. 00:00:48.285 --> 00:00:54.625 When I was in high school and going through my conversion, I really liked this girl. 00:00:56.520 --> 00:01:00.780 And during that time in my life, I was on a really bad track. 00:01:01.240 --> 00:01:05.980 It's amazing how many times or how many mistakes you can make before you're 18. 00:01:09.575 --> 00:01:11.835 But I remember praying to the lord. 00:01:12.695 --> 00:01:15.275 Lord, please make this work out. 00:01:17.175 --> 00:01:24.235 This woman could really help me, but I remember something inside of me coming up. 00:01:25.650 --> 00:01:29.190 And it and it was praying, but your will be done. 00:01:30.050 --> 00:01:40.015 And that came from somewhere, and I don't know if it was from catechism or just hearing it in school, but it came from deep inside of me. 00:01:40.555 --> 00:01:43.215 And I knew that that was the best prayer. 00:01:44.315 --> 00:01:48.015 And I am so glad that I did not marry that woman. 00:01:49.770 --> 00:01:52.010 And that is not because she is a bad woman. 00:01:52.010 --> 00:01:54.030 She's actually a great woman, and I know her. 00:01:54.650 --> 00:02:03.630 But it's because I'm married to her, Emily Hernandez, and she is the best woman for me. 00:02:04.435 --> 00:02:07.735 She is the one that will help me to get to heaven. 00:02:08.195 --> 00:02:10.295 And let me tell you a little bit about that. 00:02:10.755 --> 00:02:19.335 Whenever I first met her and the excitement that I experienced, I really wanted it to work out way more than before. 00:02:19.830 --> 00:02:25.590 I really liked her, and she was everything that I was thinking that I needed. 00:02:25.590 --> 00:02:32.170 And I remember praying, lord, please make this work out, but your will be done. 00:02:32.845 --> 00:02:37.505 And that was my prayer along the relationship as we went along. 00:02:39.005 --> 00:02:46.845 And the lord was guiding me that whole time, and he was the one that was praying that prayer because I did not want to pray that prayer. 00:02:46.845 --> 00:02:48.065 I wanted to pray. 00:02:48.660 --> 00:02:51.480 Just make it work out. 00:02:52.820 --> 00:02:57.720 But as it went along, I became more and more sure that she was the one. 00:02:58.180 --> 00:03:00.360 I did not have a 100% certainty. 00:03:00.980 --> 00:03:04.335 It was more like 70%, maybe 65. 00:03:05.675 --> 00:03:08.175 But that felt like a good bet, so I took it. 00:03:10.235 --> 00:03:14.015 And that was the best bet that I have made in my entire life. 00:03:16.820 --> 00:03:23.160 And the reason I made that bet was because I knew that she loved the Lord and that was the most important thing. 00:03:24.100 --> 00:03:27.780 And I knew that then, but I know that in a different way now. 00:03:27.780 --> 00:03:36.085 I know that in a much deeper way now because we have been through a lot of fights and we have been through a lot of arguments and not seeing eye to eye. 00:03:36.145 --> 00:03:39.685 And she has to deal with my imperfections, which are many. 00:03:39.985 --> 00:03:45.765 And I have to deal with her imperfections, which are very few, which is not fair, but that's the way it goes. 00:03:48.030 --> 00:03:52.850 But I know it in a deeper way because I've seen her striving for the Lord. 00:03:53.710 --> 00:03:57.950 And each time that we fight, we go to him and come back, and it deepens our love. 00:03:57.950 --> 00:04:03.965 And because of all of those difficulties, our love has deepened, and this is the way that love goes. 00:04:04.425 --> 00:04:08.905 This is the way that the lord's gifts are, is that they're always deeper. 00:04:08.905 --> 00:04:10.585 There there's always more. 00:04:10.585 --> 00:04:16.440 It's not like a Christmas gift when you pray and it's like, lord, or you you ask your parents. 00:04:16.440 --> 00:04:16.760 You know? 00:04:16.760 --> 00:04:17.480 Like, come on. 00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:19.000 I really I really want this. 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:21.580 I'm just realizing that, but I'm gonna let go. 00:04:22.040 --> 00:04:29.100 It's not like a Christmas gift where you where you want something and then you you get it, and then two weeks later, it's gone. 00:04:29.375 --> 00:04:32.015 The lord's gifts are always more than that. 00:04:32.015 --> 00:04:35.455 They're always deepening because that's the way he is. 00:04:35.455 --> 00:04:36.675 He's full of surprises. 00:04:40.095 --> 00:04:48.100 This this whole process also played out with whenever I was seeking to figure out what I what did I want to do with my life. 00:04:48.640 --> 00:04:49.780 I was in college. 00:04:50.560 --> 00:04:52.660 I changed my major five times. 00:04:53.680 --> 00:04:59.955 By the end of it, I knew that I wanted to help people, and I knew that I wanted to integrate it with my faith. 00:05:00.255 --> 00:05:04.035 And I found out about IPS, and I was excited. 00:05:04.095 --> 00:05:06.415 I was like, this is the way. 00:05:06.415 --> 00:05:08.835 This is what the lord wants of me. 00:05:09.110 --> 00:05:12.170 And so I prayed, lord, please let this work out. 00:05:12.630 --> 00:05:16.650 And I also prayed that your will be done, and I applied. 00:05:17.270 --> 00:05:18.650 And I didn't get in. 00:05:19.670 --> 00:05:21.430 And so I just wanna give you a tip. 00:05:21.430 --> 00:05:29.455 Whenever you go to an interview and they ask you your strengths and weaknesses, it is not time to confess your sins. 00:05:34.155 --> 00:05:37.375 Nevertheless, that was the best thing for me. 00:05:37.750 --> 00:05:39.770 It taught me how to face failure. 00:05:40.150 --> 00:05:42.090 It taught me how to face embarrassment. 00:05:43.350 --> 00:05:44.570 It taught me perseverance. 00:05:45.270 --> 00:05:50.490 I had to go back and take more psychology classes because that was not my major. 00:05:50.915 --> 00:05:53.235 I learned a lot from online classes. 00:05:53.235 --> 00:05:55.495 Back then, they had stuff online as well. 00:06:01.555 --> 00:06:03.795 But it was the best thing for me. 00:06:03.795 --> 00:06:08.150 And, also, what it did was it allowed me to marry my my wife. 00:06:08.150 --> 00:06:13.770 We got we got married during that year, so I didn't have to be away for that whole first year of graduate school. 00:06:14.230 --> 00:06:16.150 The Lord knows what he's doing. 00:06:16.150 --> 00:06:18.410 His timing is always right. 00:06:22.425 --> 00:06:27.085 This whole pattern has played out over and over in my life. 00:06:28.345 --> 00:06:31.965 Like they said, I have five kids and a six on the way. 00:06:33.050 --> 00:06:35.310 Five of those six kids were surprises. 00:06:38.650 --> 00:06:41.470 And most of the time, I was excited about the surprises. 00:06:41.530 --> 00:06:45.790 Sometimes it's like when somebody surprises you and you're like, oh, thank you. 00:06:48.575 --> 00:06:53.475 But, again, the Lord's gifts are always deeper. 00:06:53.535 --> 00:06:59.155 They're always more long lasting because he can see more than we can see. 00:06:59.375 --> 00:07:02.675 We cannot see past our nose or at least I can't. 00:07:03.150 --> 00:07:07.170 And that is why it's always better to lean on him. 00:07:08.350 --> 00:07:10.930 And that is what I have learned throughout this time. 00:07:12.190 --> 00:07:14.270 They also asked me to talk about what I'm doing. 00:07:14.270 --> 00:07:17.170 They already said what I'm doing, but I'll I'll I'll say it again. 00:07:20.555 --> 00:07:27.135 Starting my private practice, whenever I jumped and and and went in, it was after my postdoc. 00:07:27.515 --> 00:07:29.135 I jumped, went back to Louisiana. 00:07:29.435 --> 00:07:30.795 I knew someone over there. 00:07:30.795 --> 00:07:35.010 She helped me to to get started, and that was a great gift. 00:07:35.470 --> 00:07:49.455 But the first two months of my my practice, I didn't it took me a month and a half to get my license just because of the board stuff, which that's something that y'all should all think about is that that sometimes takes time. 00:07:49.675 --> 00:07:50.975 So I didn't have my license. 00:07:51.675 --> 00:07:55.595 I found out that we were having our fourth kid, and I didn't have clients. 00:07:55.595 --> 00:07:58.015 For for the first two months, I had two clients. 00:07:58.075 --> 00:08:00.175 And so I was scared out of my mind. 00:08:01.190 --> 00:08:06.570 But the lord provided the entire time because that's what he always does. 00:08:07.670 --> 00:08:11.690 So with that said, I I'd always wanted a a group practice. 00:08:14.145 --> 00:08:28.725 But the first five years of my practice, I was so focused on just trying to start up the practice, trying to be a father, coaching, and just engage with the work that it just didn't it it didn't come to my mind. 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:32.940 But this time, the Lord did it a little different because he does things different. 00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:35.720 And and he sent someone my way. 00:08:35.720 --> 00:08:38.600 It was a call from Steubenville, and they asked to come on. 00:08:38.600 --> 00:08:39.800 And I said, sure. 00:08:39.800 --> 00:08:41.565 Well, that must be God's will. 00:08:41.645 --> 00:08:46.865 Then a week later, I got someone from LSU, and I said, well, it definitely must be God's will. 00:08:47.245 --> 00:08:49.565 And then as we went along, it was a great year. 00:08:49.565 --> 00:08:51.505 I learned a lot through all of that. 00:08:52.285 --> 00:08:57.030 And then last summer, I got two more people from over here from DMU, and I was like, okay. 00:08:57.110 --> 00:08:59.830 Well, this definitely is the Lord's will. 00:08:59.830 --> 00:09:01.670 And so we started a group. 00:09:01.670 --> 00:09:15.495 It was called Sacred Space Psychotherapy, which I feel is very fitting for our work because of the space that we provide people to come in and to look at their lives and to help them to find meaning in their life. 00:09:17.155 --> 00:09:20.215 And it has been a major blessing in my life. 00:09:21.635 --> 00:09:21.955 Okay. 00:09:21.955 --> 00:09:23.555 So I'm almost at the end here. 00:09:23.555 --> 00:09:24.615 Two two points. 00:09:26.400 --> 00:09:28.580 One, life is an adventure. 00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:37.540 I know that it seems that in my story that it was just you you could be thinking in your mind, well, that was just the way that it was supposed to work out. 00:09:38.165 --> 00:09:39.845 And in some ways, you're right. 00:09:39.845 --> 00:09:44.825 It was the way that it was supposed to work out, but it did not feel like that. 00:09:45.285 --> 00:09:50.325 At every fork in the road, I did not know what the right answer was. 00:09:50.325 --> 00:09:52.410 I did not know how it would work out. 00:09:52.490 --> 00:09:54.830 I did not know if I would make it. 00:09:54.890 --> 00:10:01.390 Oftentimes, it felt like I'm I'm not going to make it, and I'm sure that many of you graduates can relate with that. 00:10:01.610 --> 00:10:08.815 Many times of going through dissertation or going through finals, It feels like the end is near, and you don't know. 00:10:08.815 --> 00:10:10.515 Is it going to work out? 00:10:12.495 --> 00:10:13.555 But yet it did. 00:10:13.615 --> 00:10:18.675 And, also, I do wanna give a message of hope that there is a life after finals. 00:10:18.890 --> 00:10:21.870 There is a life after dissertation, and it is great. 00:10:28.410 --> 00:10:29.390 My last point. 00:10:31.050 --> 00:10:33.070 Be careful where you aim. 00:10:35.925 --> 00:10:39.705 Whenever you're striving for something, you're going to move in that direction. 00:10:41.125 --> 00:10:44.505 And if you're successful at it, you will get what you want. 00:10:45.365 --> 00:10:48.105 But you may not always want what you get. 00:10:49.500 --> 00:10:52.400 One of my favorite quotes is by Thomas Merton. 00:10:54.060 --> 00:11:02.735 Most men climb the ladder of success only to realize at the end of their life that their ladder is on the wrong wall. 00:11:05.195 --> 00:11:07.935 Do not put your ladder on the wrong wall. 00:11:09.835 --> 00:11:11.295 Put your hope in Christ. 00:11:12.810 --> 00:11:23.390 Trust in his will, and he will give you a life that is full of abundance and gifts, and that is the pearl of great price. 00:11:24.276 --> 00:11:24.936 Thank you.