WEBVTT 00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:10.900 Sometimes our kids ask the best questions. 00:00:11.600 --> 00:00:19.215 And coming down here today, my daughter asked, why do we give an honorary degree? 00:00:23.755 --> 00:01:01.330 So I explained to her, I wanna remind you that we give an honorary degree because somebody here today like Micheline Fredenberg, we wanna put her out in front of you as an example of someone who has accomplished great things so that later in life, maybe tomorrow, maybe in five, ten, or fifteen years, when you're struggling, when you're trying to accomplish something, when you're looking for some motivation, you'll remember the example of Michelin Fredenberg. 00:01:04.990 --> 00:01:09.090 So then she asked me another question, which was similar. 00:01:09.950 --> 00:01:20.965 And that was, well, if she just comes here and gets an honorary doctorate, won't all the other students have worked so hard be jealous? 00:01:23.905 --> 00:01:32.940 And I think the answer to that is similar to the first answer, which is just try to work as hard as Michalene has worked. 00:01:35.800 --> 00:01:57.545 Michalene founded Life Perspectives, which provides reproductive loss training and other resources to health professionals, including hospitals, medical professionals, therapists, social workers, and pregnancy centers, as well as community and faith leaders. 00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:13.260 Without religious or political affiliation, Life Perspectives is approved by the National Association of Social Workers and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education. 00:02:15.675 --> 00:02:29.550 Life Perspectives is also nationally accredited by the American Nurses Credentialing Center and by the State of California Board of Registered Nursing as a continuing education provider. 00:02:32.490 --> 00:02:54.325 In the past year alone, life perspectives has helped over 73,000 hurting men and women with hope and healing with nonjudgmental care and has trained over 2,100 community leaders and health care professionals. 00:02:56.440 --> 00:03:03.980 Miss Friedenberg has authored the book Changed, Making Sense of Your Own or Loved One's Abortion Experience. 00:03:05.480 --> 00:03:14.535 The booklets Changed, Hope After Loss, and edited the book Grief and Abortion, Creating a Safe Place to Heal. 00:03:16.275 --> 00:03:25.415 She has also written numerous articles about reproductive grief and loss and has participated in over 100 radio and television programs. 00:03:27.390 --> 00:03:42.395 In gratitude for the generous spirit that shines through your work, it is my honor today to bestow on missus Michalene Fredenberg the doctor of humane letters, honoris causa. 00:04:30.740 --> 00:04:42.655 Thank you, father Sikorsky, mister Cunningham, Divine Mercy University board of directors, faculty, staff, graduates, your family, and friends. 00:04:44.955 --> 00:04:46.575 This is an incredible honor. 00:04:47.940 --> 00:04:49.160 It's hard to describe. 00:04:49.620 --> 00:05:03.535 It's actually really quite overwhelming to have your life's work recognized in this fashion, especially from individuals and an institution that I hold in the highest regard. 00:05:05.195 --> 00:05:23.920 It's not by chance that you decided to study at Divine Mercy University, an institution of the highest integrity, a community that honors and respects the whole person, a community dedicated to formation and the gift of self. 00:05:25.820 --> 00:05:37.265 It's humbling to be standing in front of individuals who have chosen to embark upon a life of service, a life of emptying yourselves for others. 00:05:38.685 --> 00:05:45.850 A difficult path for certain, but one filled with tremendous joy and deep fulfillment. 00:05:47.430 --> 00:05:54.010 I would imagine that some of you've chosen this path, but for others that path chose you. 00:05:55.775 --> 00:05:59.715 My work at life perspective certainly falls into the latter category. 00:06:00.975 --> 00:06:08.675 More than that, it was actually the result of a series of disastrous decisions resulting in tragic consequences. 00:06:10.730 --> 00:06:17.630 You see, when I was an 18 year old ballroom dancer, I chose to terminate a pregnancy that was threatening my career. 00:06:19.370 --> 00:06:26.030 The consequences of my life were devastating, and it radically changed me. 00:06:27.825 --> 00:06:44.510 After I was able to grieve and find some sense of peace with the help of trusted friends and some professional assistance, I slowly became aware of the depth of the pain and the silent suffering that was all around me. 00:06:45.530 --> 00:07:01.245 With two million losses every year in The United States through miscarriage and abortion, the number of men, women, family members, and friends who've been impacted by reproductive loss is tremendous. 00:07:02.505 --> 00:07:12.890 And while these losses occur very differently, the grief, the shame, the secrecy, even the guilt is very similar. 00:07:14.070 --> 00:07:23.945 These individuals often suffer silently as our culture ignores their loss and seemingly is unaware of their pain. 00:07:25.605 --> 00:07:36.480 As I began to share my story in the hope of breaking this pervasive silence, men and women shared their stories with me, and they became my teachers. 00:07:37.500 --> 00:07:41.360 They taught me how to communicate with compassion and empathy. 00:07:42.300 --> 00:07:44.000 They taught me how to listen. 00:07:45.145 --> 00:07:51.645 They showed me the depth of their shame and taught me how to create a safe place for them to tell their story. 00:07:52.745 --> 00:08:02.450 A place where their loss could be acknowledged, where they could begin to grieve, where they would be assured that their children would not be forgotten. 00:08:04.670 --> 00:08:12.290 It's a privilege like no other to be permitted to get a glimpse of somebody's private pain. 00:08:13.035 --> 00:08:18.895 To be trusted with such a deeply personal and stigmatized experience. 00:08:20.795 --> 00:08:23.215 These are truly sacred moments. 00:08:24.715 --> 00:08:27.935 I would imagine that you've already experienced similar moments. 00:08:29.370 --> 00:08:35.710 Honor them and recognize that when we give, it's reciprocal. 00:08:36.810 --> 00:08:39.290 We gain as much as we give. 00:08:39.290 --> 00:08:43.470 In fact, I think that we gain a lot more than we're ever able to give. 00:08:44.165 --> 00:08:48.425 The more that we seek to empty ourselves, the more that we're filled. 00:08:50.165 --> 00:08:52.265 This doesn't mean that it will be easy. 00:08:53.445 --> 00:09:03.610 My husband can attest to the long hours, the frustrations, the sleepless nights, the times that I'm exhausted and crabby. 00:09:05.750 --> 00:09:08.490 There are the times that I feel that I can't go on. 00:09:09.110 --> 00:09:14.415 Times of great disappointment, discouragement, and outright failures. 00:09:16.555 --> 00:09:28.960 While I haven't yet experienced shipwreck or stoning, I have faced lawsuits, personal and professional attacks, near bankruptcy and betrayal. 00:09:30.220 --> 00:09:35.280 And it's the betrayal of those that I thought were my friends that hurt the most. 00:09:36.700 --> 00:09:42.485 However, I'm now at a place in my life where I don't regret any of those ordeals. 00:09:43.505 --> 00:09:52.645 Those trials, the suffering, they shaped me and they formed me, and I'd like to think that they've made me more. 00:09:53.690 --> 00:09:56.750 I certainly know that they've made life perspectives more. 00:09:57.850 --> 00:10:04.750 Suffering has kept me and life perspectives grounded in humility, compassion, and love. 00:10:06.235 --> 00:10:16.255 These qualities gained, if you will, through fire have enabled us to work with an amazingly diverse group of individuals and organizations. 00:10:17.675 --> 00:10:19.775 Often, they don't have very much in common. 00:10:20.680 --> 00:10:36.275 Sometimes they're even adversaries, but we're able to do this because we meet in a very human place, a place where we all agree that if someone is suffering, we wanna help them. 00:10:38.735 --> 00:10:52.220 I am touched by the kindness, really the goodness that exists when we can focus on a person, on one person rather than a crowd or an agenda. 00:10:53.400 --> 00:11:04.220 When we can be truly present with that one person, when we can respond with compassion, our differences evaporate, at least for the moment. 00:11:05.655 --> 00:11:12.555 Over the past dozen years, Life Perspectives has had the privilege of assisting over a half million men and women on our healing websites. 00:11:13.415 --> 00:11:21.120 We've also had the privilege of training a growing number of professionals to provide reproductive grief care for their patients and their clients. 00:11:21.900 --> 00:11:23.280 We traveled to Ukraine. 00:11:23.980 --> 00:11:28.240 Our healing resources have been translated into multiple languages. 00:11:29.020 --> 00:11:46.355 We've attracted the most amazing team who are working together toward the day when there will one day be a widespread adoption of a standard of care around reproductive loss, and we're increasingly recognized as a global leader in reproductive grief care. 00:11:48.090 --> 00:11:51.470 Now all of that is amazing to me. 00:11:51.690 --> 00:11:52.510 It's astonishing. 00:11:54.090 --> 00:12:05.265 And while people congratulate me on our success, I am mindful that life perspectives was born out of pain, really at a death. 00:12:06.685 --> 00:12:09.185 Out of the one decision that I regret the most. 00:12:10.765 --> 00:12:15.585 I'm also mindful that success is not determined by numbers. 00:12:16.310 --> 00:12:17.610 It's about the one. 00:12:18.390 --> 00:12:24.890 The one person who we have the privilege to serve, that you have the privilege to serve. 00:12:25.590 --> 00:12:41.485 So today as we recognize your hard work, as we congratulate you on all that you have accomplished, and as you begin this next part of your adventure, please remember that there is one person who needs you. 00:12:42.800 --> 00:12:47.300 One person who is longing for your kindness, for your compassion. 00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:53.780 One person who desperately wants to know that they are not alone. 00:12:54.775 --> 00:12:58.955 That they are accepted and loved just as they are. 00:13:00.375 --> 00:13:01.275 You are needed. 00:13:02.215 --> 00:13:10.430 You are absolutely necessary, and you will and you are bringing hope to this one person. 00:13:11.130 --> 00:13:14.990 And in doing so, you're bringing hope to a hurting world. 00:13:15.450 --> 00:13:16.270 Thank you.