WEBVTT 00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:14.515 Welcome to the Call to Flourish podcast sponsored by Divine Mercy University. 00:00:14.515 --> 00:00:16.055 My name is Thomas Kronquist. 00:00:16.115 --> 00:00:20.835 I'm your guest host with father Charles Sikorsky who's the president of Divine Mercy University. 00:00:20.835 --> 00:00:22.215 Father, how are you doing today? 00:00:22.515 --> 00:00:24.035 I'm doing just fine, Tom. 00:00:24.035 --> 00:00:24.840 How are you? 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:25.320 Very good. 00:00:25.320 --> 00:00:25.880 Very good. 00:00:25.880 --> 00:00:37.260 We have a very interesting, interview this morning, with Ian Masson, who is the, director of our IPS center here, the on campus clinic. 00:00:37.925 --> 00:00:40.985 And he is also a graduate, as you know, of Divine Mercy University. 00:00:41.845 --> 00:00:45.545 Ian, I'd like to welcome you to the call for call to flourish podcast. 00:00:45.605 --> 00:00:46.585 How are you today? 00:00:46.645 --> 00:00:47.445 Doing well, Tom. 00:00:47.445 --> 00:00:47.765 Yeah. 00:00:47.765 --> 00:00:49.525 Just thanks so much for having me on here. 00:00:49.525 --> 00:00:50.610 I really appreciate it. 00:00:50.690 --> 00:00:54.530 Well, Ian, I'd I'd like to start with, tell us about your background. 00:00:54.530 --> 00:01:05.490 How did you, become interested in psychology, and how did you, your your experience here at Divine Mercy University and now your your position at the as the director of the IPS center. 00:01:05.490 --> 00:01:07.085 Just tell us about your background. 00:01:07.085 --> 00:01:08.225 Bring us up to speed. 00:01:08.445 --> 00:01:08.845 Sure. 00:01:08.845 --> 00:01:09.345 Sure. 00:01:10.045 --> 00:01:15.265 So initially, what got me interested in psychology was forensic psychology. 00:01:15.965 --> 00:01:26.380 Actually, reading a book by Roger DePue, who is the previous kind of head of the FBI's behavioral analysis unit. 00:01:26.840 --> 00:01:31.420 So really kind of looking more at, like, the criminal side of psychology was initially what got me interested. 00:01:32.040 --> 00:01:56.710 And then, when I went to college, I had experiences, with my campus ministry that just, really led me more towards the path of walking with people on their journey of healing, less so on kind of the the criminal side of things and more working with people who are, wounded and maybe wanting to, achieve healing in their life. 00:01:57.010 --> 00:02:07.215 So I was majoring in psychology in in undergrad, and I went to a national conference for the fellowship of Catholic university students. 00:02:07.755 --> 00:02:14.800 And Divine Mercy University, at the time, the, Institute for Psychological Sciences had a table there. 00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:19.540 And this was my senior year kind of deciding what it was that I wanted to do after I graduated. 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:31.905 It's like, well, if this is a if this is a place where, the faith is really integrated, with psychological practices, that's where I wanna be. 00:02:33.005 --> 00:02:40.705 So I applied there and, in '2 was at IPS from 2010 to 2013. 00:02:41.400 --> 00:02:44.620 I graduated with a master's in clinical psychology. 00:02:45.560 --> 00:02:52.940 At the time, it was called the master's plus program, and it was set up basically to set you up for licensure at the master's level. 00:02:53.595 --> 00:03:06.895 So after I graduated in 2013, I started the licensure process in Virginia to become a licensed professional counselor, and I started working at a mental health agency in my hometown. 00:03:07.650 --> 00:03:12.950 It was kind of a general practice that served the, surrounding counties. 00:03:13.570 --> 00:03:17.590 And, during that time, saw a wide range of clients. 00:03:17.650 --> 00:03:26.785 I think the youngest I worked with was three all the way up to clients in their eighties, but specializing in particular with, children. 00:03:27.405 --> 00:03:38.560 I got my certification in child centered play therapy, which I had been exposed to here at Divine Mercy University, and then also couples and families doing relationship enhancement work with them as well. 00:03:39.420 --> 00:03:46.320 And, I guess the the other part that you would ask about was bringing me back here now that I'm the director at the IPS center. 00:03:46.635 --> 00:03:55.455 So last year, I was reflecting on changes maybe that I wanted to make and having really a more mission oriented focus. 00:03:55.515 --> 00:04:05.750 And when this position came open, I kind of reflected on how I might, incorporate that and was just excited to kind of make that change. 00:04:05.750 --> 00:04:32.600 And now I'm back at the IPS center where we kind of have a twofold mission of training students in how to start working with clients and, what it looks like in a practical sense to, integrate the Catholic Christian meta model of the person in a session with clients, and then also providing therapy services to those who need it most through our sliding scale services. 00:04:32.900 --> 00:04:33.140 Yeah. 00:04:33.140 --> 00:04:37.720 So, Ian, you mentioned, you met DMU at the, FOCUS conference. 00:04:38.420 --> 00:04:40.760 And so were you involved with FOCUS as an undergrad? 00:04:41.855 --> 00:04:42.335 Yeah. 00:04:42.335 --> 00:04:42.995 I was. 00:04:44.255 --> 00:04:58.330 Initially, I was a student leader, did lead, a bible study for a couple years with FOCUS, and, FOCUS was heavily involved in my campus ministry and had some wonderful missionaries who really invested in me as well during my time at George Mason. 00:05:00.390 --> 00:05:04.550 So, yeah, it's a it was a it was a great blessing, you know, being able to do some of those things. 00:05:04.550 --> 00:05:12.250 And then, obviously, the the national conference was kind of what, opened my way, I think, to my vocation as a as a counselor too. 00:05:12.525 --> 00:05:13.025 Yeah. 00:05:13.325 --> 00:05:22.045 So and, so you saw things in the campus ministry that maybe kinda made you refocus a little bit on what you wanted to do and the kind of people you wanted to serve. 00:05:22.045 --> 00:05:30.180 And I think one of the things we're always hear hearing about today, are the mental health issues on college campuses. 00:05:30.320 --> 00:05:34.180 Did you see that often in your in your Catholic campus ministry? 00:05:35.280 --> 00:05:35.760 Yeah. 00:05:35.760 --> 00:05:36.260 Absolutely. 00:05:37.440 --> 00:05:44.235 You know, college, especially, I think, can be a well, it's a significant transition, you know, for students to make. 00:05:44.555 --> 00:05:46.815 They're away from home for the first time. 00:05:47.515 --> 00:05:49.935 Many of them are away from home for the first time. 00:05:50.635 --> 00:05:57.270 They're developing their sense of identity and making choices about what they want their life to look like. 00:05:57.730 --> 00:06:04.690 And at times, not really receiving a lot of guidance and support in that area. 00:06:04.690 --> 00:06:09.965 And that can be a very frightening experience, I think. 00:06:09.965 --> 00:06:32.830 And you would see, a lot of anxiety, you know, a a lot of depression in in college students who maybe feel isolated, feel like they're they're not connected in a meaningful way, like, really having meaningful relationships, and, not really sure of, how they want to live their life or what they want to live their life for. 00:06:33.930 --> 00:06:34.250 Yeah. 00:06:34.250 --> 00:06:35.290 So that that's interesting. 00:06:35.290 --> 00:06:49.795 They need to help them not only religiously and with their faith, but also also in a psychological level and, you know, sort of a life planning level and how how do you get get everything integral integrally, centered. 00:06:50.590 --> 00:06:50.750 Right. 00:06:50.750 --> 00:06:54.690 I mean, here I am, you know, at college, and I'm doing this degree. 00:06:55.710 --> 00:06:56.430 But why? 00:06:56.430 --> 00:06:57.790 Like, what's the purpose of it? 00:06:57.790 --> 00:07:19.375 I think that's where the psychology can really kind of come in and, help in terms of just identifying those values, kind of clarifying what they are, how I want to live my life, and also then addressing maybe what are some of the the wounds or experiences that I've had that are, preventing me from being able to move in that direction. 00:07:19.770 --> 00:07:20.090 Yeah. 00:07:20.090 --> 00:07:20.590 Absolutely. 00:07:21.450 --> 00:07:28.010 That's a great segue actually, into, the topic we have today, which is managing stress in everyday life. 00:07:28.010 --> 00:07:34.090 And, there's obviously a lot of stress on college campuses, and, you you know, maybe we can touch on that more. 00:07:34.090 --> 00:07:44.175 But, wanna just start out with, you know, if you could define stress, what what is it, I guess, clinically or, you know, it's the word is used a lot. 00:07:44.175 --> 00:07:46.495 But, you know, what are we talking about here? 00:07:46.495 --> 00:07:52.450 What what are the symptoms, and, when do they indicate something serious is going on? 00:07:53.070 --> 00:07:54.850 So I think that's a a good question. 00:07:54.910 --> 00:08:07.395 I laugh a little bit because I'm I'm sure, you know, there have been there have been lots of discussions over the past couple years of stress and, effects of chronic stress probably all experiencing that, I I think. 00:08:08.175 --> 00:08:11.635 There's a fine line between stress and anxiety. 00:08:12.415 --> 00:08:22.940 I would say, we kind of definitionally, like, stress is a response to a perceived threat or a a stressor. 00:08:25.160 --> 00:08:31.660 And different different people are going to find different things stressful. 00:08:33.565 --> 00:08:45.025 But one of the things that typically we might be able to, look at is, what are physical symptoms that we might be experiencing. 00:08:45.325 --> 00:08:51.150 So do we have an experience of being depleted, kind of a general sense of fatigue? 00:08:52.090 --> 00:09:03.695 If you're stressed, you can experience, you know, gastrointestinal issues, headaches, finding yourself a little more irritable, having a sense of being overwhelmed or exhausted. 00:09:04.075 --> 00:09:10.415 But stress is in response to something that is going on typically in our outside world. 00:09:11.515 --> 00:09:19.410 Now how we respond to that, like I said, can be part of our individual upbringing, biologies, temperaments, you know, even our culture. 00:09:19.470 --> 00:09:28.690 You know, in in American culture, there's sometimes this very, strong emphasis, again, maybe related to college or high school students, this drive to achieve. 00:09:29.245 --> 00:09:33.585 And so there might be this pressure that can kinda bring about more of a stressful response. 00:09:35.005 --> 00:09:38.525 And you mentioned so that stress, the stress is kinda the outside. 00:09:38.525 --> 00:09:41.505 So anxiety, is that something that's more internal? 00:09:42.390 --> 00:09:51.290 Anxiety is persistent more persistent worries that don't go away even in the absence of a stressor. 00:09:51.990 --> 00:09:56.410 So I'm worried, but I don't necessarily know why. 00:09:58.495 --> 00:10:02.815 Now it can lead to a very identical set of symptoms such as stress. 00:10:02.815 --> 00:10:10.595 So, you know, having difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, you know, fatigue, irritability. 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:15.460 So they are similar, I think, in that sense. 00:10:16.640 --> 00:10:32.325 But anxiety focuses a little bit more on, maybe as a future oriented concern or worry, whereas stress is our fight or flight response kind of occurring in the here and now. 00:10:32.785 --> 00:10:33.265 Okay. 00:10:33.265 --> 00:10:33.765 Mhmm. 00:10:33.985 --> 00:10:45.380 Going back to where where we started with college campuses, I'm thinking, you know, new students, freshmen, freshmen coming onto campus. 00:10:45.680 --> 00:10:53.220 They're leaving their families, maybe as you said for the first time, a whole new group of friends or a whole new group of people around them. 00:10:54.385 --> 00:11:06.805 The stress of classes maybe at a higher level than than they experienced in high school, higher expectations from family and and those around them, you know, career choices. 00:11:07.345 --> 00:11:16.440 I'm just wondering, are, you know, different students are probably at a different place or different different levels of preparation for that kind of thing. 00:11:16.440 --> 00:11:28.155 And and, you know, how do, how how can you, how how can we help people who maybe are not ready or or not well prepared for for college? 00:11:28.155 --> 00:11:32.335 What what kind of things can can a a psychologist or a counselor do? 00:11:33.435 --> 00:11:46.810 Well, I think one thing that psychology and counseling can kind of help with is first, that that point that you made about, you know, when they get to college feeling kind of isolated or lonely. 00:11:47.750 --> 00:11:52.595 Psychology and counseling can kind of help uncover areas maybe of vulnerability. 00:11:53.535 --> 00:11:54.355 Like, okay. 00:11:54.495 --> 00:12:00.195 What are some of those, what are the quality of your relationships looking like? 00:12:00.415 --> 00:12:00.735 You know? 00:12:00.735 --> 00:12:08.880 Because when we get stressed, there's a natural tendency as well to kind of have a narrow field of vision mentally speaking. 00:12:08.880 --> 00:12:36.070 So it's like we we focus in on that perceived threat that's right in front of us, which leads us to not only do we already feel maybe cut off from families, friends, communities, and things like that, but the stress leads us to do that even more so because it's like, well, I don't have time for those things when really those sorts of things are actually what is going to help maybe with the stress level. 00:12:36.450 --> 00:12:42.150 So counseling and psychology can kind of take a look at where what does my current balance look like? 00:12:42.770 --> 00:12:53.405 What are what are some of my own maybe perceptions and attitudes towards achievement, college, life in general, values? 00:12:53.785 --> 00:13:08.720 And they can uncover maybe some, you know, rigid thinking patterns that we have, again, whether from ourselves or from family and upbringing, that can actually contribute or exact to or exacerbate stress that we might be experiencing. 00:13:11.180 --> 00:13:17.235 And how do we know, and what would you say someone that it sounds like stress is normal. 00:13:17.235 --> 00:13:19.415 Everybody's stressed to one degree or another. 00:13:19.475 --> 00:13:21.075 When do we know when it's a real problem? 00:13:21.075 --> 00:13:22.535 I might need to get some help. 00:13:22.675 --> 00:13:33.640 I'm glad that you said that because I think sometimes college students, most of us in general, we're going to experience stress, and stress is a normal part of our lives. 00:13:33.640 --> 00:13:41.720 Stress can actually even be helpful in small doses, because stress energizes us. 00:13:41.720 --> 00:13:45.225 It's there is kind of like a adrenaline that comes into the system. 00:13:45.225 --> 00:13:46.905 We kind of get the the blood flowing. 00:13:46.905 --> 00:13:47.625 It's like, alright. 00:13:47.625 --> 00:13:50.285 Let's let's kind of let's kind of tackle this. 00:13:51.465 --> 00:14:02.720 The difficulty comes, and I think this is where, you would kind of know there's more of an issue when it starts affecting our daily functioning. 00:14:03.660 --> 00:14:23.495 So does is the stress interfering with my, ability to engage in relationships, follow through on tasks, complete, you know, just basic physical self care things. 00:14:23.495 --> 00:14:24.055 You know? 00:14:24.055 --> 00:14:31.680 Is stress interfering with my eating, with my sleeping, with engaging in other outlets. 00:14:32.380 --> 00:14:37.040 So I think that's a a one big factor, that we can tell. 00:14:37.420 --> 00:14:39.600 You can also rely on people around us. 00:14:40.060 --> 00:14:44.455 You know, if you have people kind of, like, coming to you and saying, yeah. 00:14:44.455 --> 00:14:47.855 It just seems like you've got you've got more kind of going on in your life. 00:14:48.295 --> 00:14:51.835 Seems like you're more kind of, seems like you're more stressed. 00:14:51.895 --> 00:14:54.295 I think that's another good indication as well. 00:14:54.295 --> 00:14:55.335 It's like, okay. 00:14:55.335 --> 00:15:00.075 Maybe I need to kind of look at what's going on here and, do a do a little bit of evaluation. 00:15:01.310 --> 00:15:01.810 Yeah. 00:15:01.870 --> 00:15:08.690 And what are some of the so if it's not addressed, you know, I assume, you know, what you just mentioned are some of the consequences. 00:15:08.990 --> 00:15:09.390 Right? 00:15:09.390 --> 00:15:16.885 Relationships get soured or may we end up doing things we really regret, you know, in a weaker moment. 00:15:17.745 --> 00:15:23.745 And it it was interesting what you said that, you know, I think we could all do our our neighbor a great good. 00:15:23.745 --> 00:15:24.945 Do the other person hey. 00:15:24.945 --> 00:15:26.705 You know, you really seem stressed these days. 00:15:26.705 --> 00:15:29.640 What's what's you know, I hope everything's okay. 00:15:30.580 --> 00:15:33.540 Just to kinda maybe remind them, hey. 00:15:33.540 --> 00:15:38.360 Maybe you need to, you know, get some help or talk about it with somebody. 00:15:39.220 --> 00:15:39.720 Absolutely. 00:15:40.420 --> 00:15:50.415 I think that addresses one of the big pieces of stress that or one of the big experiences in stress is people often feel isolated in their stress. 00:15:50.795 --> 00:15:57.295 And so they feel like maybe I'm the only one going through this or they don't want to be a burden to other people in their life. 00:15:57.810 --> 00:16:10.790 And so reaching out to somebody that you notice that in, can really be, just a lifeline, you know, because it's it's not something typically that we might ask about. 00:16:11.010 --> 00:16:21.515 And I would also say, I think internally in terms of dealing with stress, that's one of the most important things that we can do when we ourselves are experiencing stress. 00:16:21.895 --> 00:16:30.610 So many people have a difficult time with accepting their own the sources of their own stress. 00:16:31.230 --> 00:16:35.790 And, you know, I think often, you know, we might reach out to a friend and say, hey. 00:16:35.790 --> 00:16:38.450 Well, what's bothering you or what's kind of going on with you? 00:16:38.510 --> 00:16:47.335 But when it comes to our own sources of stress, we're actually typically more likely to, engage maybe in some kind of, like, defense or turn away. 00:16:47.335 --> 00:16:47.815 It's like, alright. 00:16:47.815 --> 00:16:50.215 Well, I'm stressed and I do I just don't wanna deal with that. 00:16:50.215 --> 00:16:58.315 So I'm gonna raid the fridge or I'm gonna flip through my phone or, you know, binge watch on Netflix or something like that. 00:16:59.270 --> 00:17:06.150 Instead of doing what we would to a to a genuine friend and turning to that part of ourselves at stress and saying, hey. 00:17:06.150 --> 00:17:08.650 What's going on with you that's bothering you so much? 00:17:09.110 --> 00:17:12.470 And psychology and counseling can really kind of help with that too. 00:17:12.470 --> 00:17:18.565 Getting in touch with those parts of ourselves that carry those stresses or carry those burdens as well. 00:17:19.185 --> 00:17:39.975 Seems that, one of the indicators that stress is is going beyond what we normally experience You talked about anxiety, that general sense of anxiety that that carries on, even when the stress stress, inputs aren't there at the moment. 00:17:40.515 --> 00:17:51.875 And if it's if if it's turned into that, you know, the constant worry, the constant anxiety of affecting, yeah, all kinds of things, that would be a real indication there's a problem. 00:17:51.875 --> 00:17:52.375 Yes? 00:17:53.270 --> 00:17:53.770 Yes. 00:17:54.310 --> 00:17:58.890 In general, I would say that now all of these things kind of, like, occur on a spectrum. 00:17:58.950 --> 00:17:59.270 Right? 00:17:59.270 --> 00:18:01.370 So there's a spectrum of stress. 00:18:01.670 --> 00:18:03.370 There's a spectrum of anxiety. 00:18:03.750 --> 00:18:24.290 You know, anxiety can rage range from, you know, kind of mild worry and kind of like a general sense of unease to, panic attacks where, you know, clients might be having difficulty breathing, you know, experiencing, like, heart palpitations even though there's nothing wrong with them physically and things like that. 00:18:24.350 --> 00:18:25.550 And same with stress too. 00:18:25.550 --> 00:18:25.790 Right? 00:18:25.790 --> 00:18:29.890 I mean, we might have a a stressful day, but then we kind of bounce right back from it. 00:18:31.655 --> 00:18:42.635 Or stress can be chronic stress, or maybe we don't have a sense of worry, but it's one thing after another after another, and we just we move from problem to problem. 00:18:43.350 --> 00:18:45.350 And we're not we're not made to do that. 00:18:45.350 --> 00:18:46.790 We're not meant to do that. 00:18:46.790 --> 00:18:54.730 We have to we have to refill our tanks, so to speak, or we go to e and then the the car doesn't run anymore. 00:18:55.445 --> 00:18:55.685 Yeah. 00:18:55.685 --> 00:18:59.845 What are some, you know, techniques we all can do in our daily battle with this? 00:18:59.845 --> 00:19:03.125 So, you know, because a lot of times, as you say, okay. 00:19:03.125 --> 00:19:04.965 We gotta recharge and and so forth. 00:19:04.965 --> 00:19:08.325 But, you know, when we're really you know, difficult things can happen. 00:19:08.325 --> 00:19:14.050 I mean, you're moving to another city or you're changing jobs or you have a newborn child. 00:19:14.750 --> 00:19:19.090 Like, what are you know, when you feel it, right, it's a big adjustment that you have to make. 00:19:19.390 --> 00:19:26.835 That's probably not a chronic thing, but you you know, how do you handle what are some tips you could give us to to to manage that kind of stress? 00:19:27.535 --> 00:19:27.775 Yeah. 00:19:27.775 --> 00:19:37.395 I think that's a a good question because we don't want to turn away necessarily from the stress. 00:19:37.455 --> 00:19:45.910 So that goes back to, what I was saying of, you know, if a friend is sharing their hurt or stress and we just say, okay. 00:19:45.910 --> 00:19:46.230 Cool. 00:19:46.230 --> 00:19:48.170 Like, I'm just gonna go watch Netflix. 00:19:48.710 --> 00:19:51.510 And that friend's going to be left feeling very hurt. 00:19:51.510 --> 00:19:51.750 Right? 00:19:51.750 --> 00:20:03.825 And so one of the biggest things I think that we can do when we are noticing or when we are experiencing stress is noticing and connecting with it. 00:20:04.205 --> 00:20:09.390 Now what that means is having more of an attitude of curiosity and compassion. 00:20:10.250 --> 00:20:14.170 So if I experience stress, can I look at that and say, okay? 00:20:14.170 --> 00:20:17.370 Well, what's going on here in the moment? 00:20:17.370 --> 00:20:19.150 Like, what is it that's bothering you? 00:20:19.395 --> 00:20:32.190 So I think that's one important thing because oftentimes, we talk about, well, I'm just gonna you know, again, maybe gonna do something that disconnects me, but we can't you don't disconnect a phone to recharge your phone. 00:20:32.350 --> 00:20:36.850 So you actually have to tap into the sources of what it is that's bothering you. 00:20:37.150 --> 00:20:48.615 Now I think an additional point with that is that there is a there is an importance to take care of us, to take care of ourselves at different levels. 00:20:49.075 --> 00:21:04.100 So, one of the things that actually I I have learned was doing what's called a PIES assessment, and the PIES is an acronym for physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual. 00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:19.255 And so looking at each one of those domains and what am I doing to take care of myself in those areas, which can look different depending on what's going on in our life as you were highlighting father. 00:21:19.255 --> 00:21:28.875 Because, like, I know for myself, my my self care in physical or intellectual or emotional domains changed when I became a father. 00:21:29.250 --> 00:21:45.285 And with with each kid, you know, I'm not wasn't able to do the same things, but I at least had that structure as a, as kind of a a way of assessing how am I kind of doing in each of the these areas taking care of my life. 00:21:47.185 --> 00:21:52.865 I think the other important point is being intentional about actually taking breaks during the day. 00:21:52.865 --> 00:22:09.050 And so one of the things that I know I found helpful is, kind of at the beginning, middle, and end of the day, just taking up taking a pause from whatever is going on task wise and just to do kind of, like, a quick internal check-in of how are things going. 00:22:09.355 --> 00:22:19.455 And that can actually hit the hit the pause button on our kind of fight or flight responding to each task or responding to each threat that might be coming up. 00:22:20.475 --> 00:22:28.010 How does, someone's faith impact or alleviate stress and anxiety? 00:22:28.150 --> 00:22:35.850 Have you seen that there's, can that be beneficial, someone's faith, help in in in these areas? 00:22:37.575 --> 00:22:37.655 Yeah. 00:22:37.655 --> 00:22:38.155 Absolutely. 00:22:38.335 --> 00:22:44.715 So, faith, spiritual practices can be a huge source of comfort. 00:22:44.935 --> 00:22:53.510 I mean, obviously, in the scripture, you know, you have, Christ reminding us that, our father cares for us and our father loves us. 00:22:54.050 --> 00:23:02.470 And what you're highlighting is actually can be an important step when we are connecting with those parts of us that are stressed or upset. 00:23:03.170 --> 00:23:14.615 So if if we're not in tune, if we're not connected with what's stressing us out, then we're not as effective as bringing those things into prayer. 00:23:15.475 --> 00:23:17.655 And so when I say, okay. 00:23:17.810 --> 00:23:48.860 This is something that's stressing me out or is kind of weighing heavily on my heart, being then to being able to turn and bring that to Christ, to God in prayer, and kind of leaving it in his hands can be a source of both comfort and relief kind of because so much of what we stress about, often we don't actually have control over over what's going to happen. 00:23:48.860 --> 00:23:49.180 Right? 00:23:49.180 --> 00:23:54.480 And, we spend a lot of time and a lot of energy stressing out about things that we don't control. 00:23:54.780 --> 00:24:13.130 It's important to acknowledge that this stresses or bothers me, and then that that spiritual side that you just highlighted can kind of provide that opportunity for surrender and peace really to kind of enter in that we can ultimately recognize that god is one in charge. 00:24:13.430 --> 00:24:23.930 And that even if things don't work out the way that we would like them to, that we're promised that ultimately there is, that there that it is going to work out. 00:24:24.995 --> 00:24:33.255 You mentioned, you know, taking time away, and you think about, you know, the examined life the philosophers talk about in examined life. 00:24:33.875 --> 00:24:39.015 Saint Ignatius Loyola talks about the conscience exam, doing conscious exam, doing that periodically. 00:24:39.960 --> 00:24:48.540 And then even, you know, Saint Francis with the famous prayer for serenity and right knowing what I control and knowing, you know, the things I can't control. 00:24:48.680 --> 00:25:00.005 And, there's something about that just taking short periods of time in the middle of the day, like, how are things going and, you know, and what why am I a little anxious today or stressed? 00:25:00.005 --> 00:25:04.965 And why, you know, why was I not as as focused or paying attention? 00:25:04.965 --> 00:25:08.245 And and and I think, it can be extremely helpful. 00:25:08.245 --> 00:25:15.640 I mean, it helps us certainly on a spiritual level, but even it seems like also on a human level, starting to start thinking, well, what's you know? 00:25:16.260 --> 00:25:27.775 Sometimes you think, but what you know, in the big scheme of things, in the long term, god's long term plan, okay, whether, you know, whether this particular task or matter goes well or isn't gonna end up mattering that much. 00:25:27.775 --> 00:25:42.180 And here I am worrying so much about it because of my perfectionism or because of my, you know, OCD or what whatever it is, you know, my my need to get things done, you know, and and can you maybe help us in that? 00:25:42.320 --> 00:25:42.640 Right. 00:25:42.640 --> 00:25:57.475 I mean, that's it does help on a psychological level because, otherwise, we run the risk of I mean, in psychology and counseling, what we call, like, the concept of leakage, where we're cutting off a part of ourselves. 00:25:57.475 --> 00:26:12.100 Maybe we're just we don't if we don't pay attention to what's stressing us out and we maybe try to push it aside, you know, through denial or just kind of, like, white knuckle through whatever is, bothering us, the part of us that stressed doesn't go anywhere. 00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:18.580 And stress actually signals that there's something important going on inside of us. 00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:25.065 And if we keep it out of our awareness, there is a natural pull for that trouble to come to the surface. 00:26:25.525 --> 00:26:34.245 And so, actually, the more that we suppress, the more that we try to suppress our stress, the more it actually fights to get to the surface. 00:26:34.245 --> 00:26:37.360 And it's almost like a beach ball that you're trying to hold under the water. 00:26:37.360 --> 00:26:37.600 Right? 00:26:37.600 --> 00:26:41.540 And it just keeps trying to kind of, like, pop up in a way. 00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:49.060 So the more energy that we kind of put into it, you know, the more that it's kind of fighting almost to get to our attention. 00:26:49.335 --> 00:27:18.040 So doing these breaks can actually do a little bit of, checking in so that there's not this buildup then that can end in, you know, maybe irritability or outbursts towards family or friends or even just the the physical response of, exhaustion of actually carrying around that mental burden all the time without doing something to kind of check-in with it and maybe alleviate it a little bit more. 00:27:18.535 --> 00:27:34.440 I find it very helpful for me personally when I start my day with, with with prayer and reflection and and before before the day gets really complicated, you know, just spending that time in prayer and, I guess, preparing for the day. 00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:40.860 I find I find when I don't get that time in in the morning, my days at least I perceive my days don't go as well. 00:27:41.080 --> 00:27:43.260 So, you know, I think that could be helpful. 00:27:44.520 --> 00:28:02.085 If someone is really struggling, that and and these, these, recommendations you've made, these suggestions you've made, they're they're not they don't seem to be they don't seem to be helping, and and and they're they're in deep water. 00:28:02.250 --> 00:28:03.770 They're sinking as it were. 00:28:03.770 --> 00:28:04.170 Yeah. 00:28:04.170 --> 00:28:05.130 What would you recommend? 00:28:05.130 --> 00:28:08.170 How how do they get help when it when it's when it's getting really serious? 00:28:08.170 --> 00:28:09.150 What would you recommend? 00:28:09.770 --> 00:28:17.125 So I think another very important point because oftentimes, you might try to go it alone of, like, no. 00:28:17.125 --> 00:28:20.105 I've got this, or I'm gonna I'm just gonna try making this work. 00:28:20.405 --> 00:28:33.690 And so one of the things I really try to emphasize, just in talking with people in general is it's okay to kind of admit that I'm not okay right now and that I need help. 00:28:33.990 --> 00:28:39.690 And maybe I need help at a different level of stress than somebody else does, and that's okay. 00:28:40.390 --> 00:28:51.195 So practically speaking, I would say reach out, you know, to to somebody, on a professional basis, obviously. 00:28:51.255 --> 00:29:03.360 So I work at the IPS Center for psychological services, and we we're currently offering in person services for adults and for children ages five to 10. 00:29:03.820 --> 00:29:08.640 And then we're also offering telehealth services currently for adults across the state of Virginia. 00:29:09.900 --> 00:29:19.075 And you can also if somebody were to kinda be outside of the Virginia area, you know, there's psychologytoday.com. 00:29:19.695 --> 00:29:22.435 There's catholictherapists.com. 00:29:23.375 --> 00:29:31.460 And then I would also recommend going to a family or friend, family member or friend and saying, you know, this is something I'm struggling with. 00:29:31.840 --> 00:29:33.700 I'm looking for a therapist or counselor. 00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:35.620 Do you know of anybody? 00:29:35.840 --> 00:29:36.240 You know? 00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:41.540 And getting that conversation started just so you can you kind of get on that path towards healing. 00:29:43.845 --> 00:29:44.585 That's great. 00:29:44.805 --> 00:29:45.285 Hey. 00:29:45.285 --> 00:29:46.565 One question here too. 00:29:46.565 --> 00:29:54.265 I suppose, you know, we spend so much time at work and, you know, there's job demands and there's all these kinds of things. 00:29:54.660 --> 00:30:07.140 What if you're in, like, a toxic work environment and, you know, you feel disrespected and bullied and kinda, you know, you know, not treated the right way and real and but you don't have any options. 00:30:07.140 --> 00:30:07.460 Right? 00:30:07.460 --> 00:30:09.080 You kinda feel like, oh my gosh. 00:30:09.140 --> 00:30:10.440 I gotta do this job. 00:30:11.355 --> 00:30:17.295 I mean, easy to look for a new job, but, how how should someone try to navigate that? 00:30:18.315 --> 00:30:29.590 I think that address there's two real things that like, when I'm working with clients who maybe have been experiencing that that I try to look at with them. 00:30:29.730 --> 00:30:34.850 First off is, can we look at making a lateral change by changing jobs? 00:30:34.850 --> 00:30:35.350 Right? 00:30:36.210 --> 00:30:49.325 Now if that isn't possible and it's not always because of the person's circumstances, job market, whatever the case may be, then how do we how can we kind of build up your attitude? 00:30:49.385 --> 00:30:55.170 And I think this is goes back to the beginning of the session of finding meaning in the work. 00:30:55.170 --> 00:31:00.370 What are some of the things that we can do that kind of act as buffers towards some of that toxic stress? 00:31:00.370 --> 00:31:17.025 So does that mean, you know, setting boundaries and maybe developing a little bit of assertiveness depending on how you can maybe kind of, have conversations with people who are in charge of making it more of a positive or toxic environment. 00:31:18.205 --> 00:31:25.070 And what internally, again, can I control with my own attitude and approach towards work? 00:31:26.090 --> 00:31:30.350 Because oftentimes in those situations, there's a sense of powerlessness and hopelessness. 00:31:30.410 --> 00:31:34.030 It's like, well, I can't change my work environment. 00:31:34.090 --> 00:31:34.410 Okay. 00:31:34.410 --> 00:31:35.630 Well, maybe that's true. 00:31:36.330 --> 00:31:40.965 Then let's focus on what you can control, which oftentimes is how we approach our work. 00:31:41.265 --> 00:31:43.925 Maybe for a father, that means that, you know what? 00:31:43.985 --> 00:31:48.405 I don't like it, but it is providing for my family right now. 00:31:49.745 --> 00:32:00.010 Or I don't like it, but I'm gonna focus on doing the best job that I can until something else kind of comes along that I'm going to look for opportunities for self improvement in this area. 00:32:00.710 --> 00:32:20.205 Ian, if somebody has any questions, that they would like to ask you, maybe on a personal level of follow-up, is there or if they have questions about your career path, your particular career path, or even the clinic, do you have an email address that they could, they could use, or how would you suggest they they follow-up with you? 00:32:20.730 --> 00:32:20.970 Yeah. 00:32:20.970 --> 00:32:33.630 So we've, if if there were particular inquiries maybe about, therapy or services, the IPS center, has an intake email and phone number. 00:32:34.255 --> 00:32:50.750 So the email is ipscenter@divinemercy.edu, and the phone number for the IPS center intake is 70341821111. 00:32:52.090 --> 00:33:03.710 And then if there were, you know, questions like you said, career path wise or things like that, my own email would be imassen.ips@divinemercy.edu. 00:33:03.985 --> 00:33:05.265 And that's with two s's. 00:33:05.265 --> 00:33:05.765 Yes? 00:33:05.905 --> 00:33:06.545 Two s's. 00:33:06.545 --> 00:33:07.045 Yes. 00:33:07.265 --> 00:33:07.745 Masson. 00:33:07.745 --> 00:33:08.245 Yeah. 00:33:09.265 --> 00:33:09.765 Fantastic. 00:33:09.985 --> 00:33:20.440 Well, unfortunately, we are, coming kind at the end of our our podcast here, but I wanna thank you so much for this, very important discussion we've had. 00:33:20.440 --> 00:33:25.160 And, I know we have future discussions scheduled, so I'm looking forward to those. 00:33:25.160 --> 00:33:31.740 But, thank you for being with us, and, I just look forward to talking with you in the near future. 00:33:32.445 --> 00:33:33.085 Well, thank you. 00:33:33.085 --> 00:33:37.725 I I enjoyed it, and, hopefully, it it blesses, the people who are listening to it. 00:33:37.725 --> 00:33:38.545 So thank you. 00:33:39.085 --> 00:33:39.965 Have a great day. 00:33:39.965 --> 00:33:40.785 You too.