(♪ HARP STRUMS CHORDS)
(STATIC CRACKLING)
Today is my birthday.
Which means, so far, I've spent 19 and a half years sleeping,
three and a half years eating, and produced about 8,000 gallons of urine.
I've taken 504 million breaths,
and probably have around 170 million more to go.
I've spent 178 days queueing,
and probably shall spend another 60 in that line.
As well as another six years online,
which I'll spend learning things like...
more people in the UK believe in ghosts than God,
although more believe in heaven than ghosts.
And that, sometimes, two snowflakes do look alike.
(WIND BLOWING)
Also, that today is International Tango Day, too.
(SQUEAK)
(♪ TANGO FLOURISH)